Should we leave things unsaid?
Have you ever heard the expression, “Somethings are better left unsaid”? If not, it basically means that not everything you think is worth the trouble of expressing it out loud. Mainly because it might stir the pot and cause unnecessary drama. Personally, I am someone who has always lived by this expression, I prefer to keep the peace even when something might be really bothering me about the other persons' behavior or attitude. Yet, lately, I’ve been wondering...is it worth it to leave things unsaid?
Whenever there’s tension between me and someone else I create a whole dialogue in my head about all the things I want to say to better the situation or to resolve the conflict. But, when the time comes, I prefer to brush it off like nothing is wrong and move on as if there was no tension at all, to begin with. Here’s what happens when I do that though, I feel resentment towards the person because of whatever happened. Slowly, I start to create distance between us until we have grown so far apart that we are basically strangers to one another. Which makes me wonder if I hadn’t left my frustration unspoken if I had confronted the person with the consequences of their actions, would we still have grown apart? Or would we have resolved the conflict and grow closer together? Leaving things unsaid has led to frustration, resentment or towards many "what ifs" in my life. So, the question becomes...is it better to leave things unsaid rather than speaking up and dealing with the issue head on?
I don’t have the answer to this yet but I’m learning to let go of my fear of conflict, of the fear of losing people if I speak my mind. I’m learning to create a balance between what should really be left unsaid and when it’s important to speak my mind. As I'm in this learning process I’m trying to imprint the words “nothing is better left unsaid” into my mind. Obviously, I still have a few exceptions. Things that I still believe are better left unsaid are:
Idle threats;
Gossip;
Criticism;
Things shared in confidence.
Basically, I’m learning to speak my mind without expressing frustration and resentment towards the other party. Because it’s important to remember that once certain things are expressed it can only be forgiven not forgotten.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blogpost are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Phryme Magazine.