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S2 Loving Depression: Miss independent

Hola chicos y chicas, I am back! Sorry that I have been so absent, but my life is messy right now without forgetting about the school stress #laughing emoji.

Today, I will be sharing with you guys the last chapter of this series. Sadly, everything has to come to an end. 

In the previous chapter, I told you the story of Lily who told us that seeking professional help can make a huge difference in your life. Before we start with this chapter, let me put my headphones on and listen to the new song of my bish, you can also listen to Dinah Jane - Loterry with me. 

In this chapter, I will tell you about a strong and independent woman. She decided to stay anonymous, so let us call her Tasha. A beautiful name, right? Tasha wanted to share her story with you because she thinks it is important to be open and talk about it!

''Have you ever felt misunderstood or unwelcome?!?" Tasha felt this way about her home situation where she felt like a puzzle that no one could solve. 

Tasha's story begins in Aruba, where she lived with her family. Now, she is living and studying in the Netherlands. Back home she went through a lot of stress with her family and school. She noticed that she had depression when she was 17. But after she started self reflecting she noticed that she had depression since the age of 12. The whole time it was on and off, but it came to a point where it was not healthy anymore. Imagine keeping all your feelings inside and telling nobody, can you relate? 

The heaviest year for Tasha was 2016, when she needed to repeat a year – the exam class. At this moment, her family began to pressure her, which created more stress for her. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed with the negative comments she was receiving from her loved ones.

Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash
Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash

The next year she was going to go study abroad, the reaction of her family was priceless, ''Are you sure you are mature enough to continue on your own?". It was very demotivating and her situation at home was chaotic; her sister stopped talking to her father, her aunt fought with her uncle and so the fights went on. The safest environment Tasha knew did not exist anymore. Family can be a great support system, yet it can also be your biggest criticism. 

What was your lowest point while being depressed?

''I was on the phone with my mom, when I couldn't take it anymore, me and my mom began to fight over the phone. I thought she didn't understand me, but how could she? She did not know what I was going through, because I never told her."

Leaving all the toxicity of her family was the first step of her freedom. It feels good to suck the venom of the snake out of your system finally, in this case the healing is the hardest process.  A way that she found to deal with her depression was through self reflection where she asked herself...

''How did I not breakdown all that time?"

One thing that Tasha did a lot was to blame herself for all the problems that occurred around her. I think many of us can agree with this, or don't you?

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash
Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

With all the pressure that she has put on herself, the first thing that comes to her mind is, ''If I talk to other people, it will not help my problem." Yet, when she opened up to her sister, it was the time she felt more relieved than ever. She also started to do things that made her feel good, such as walking in the afternoon or listening to the beats of music with her eyes closed.

Right now, Tasha is in a place where communication is key and every day is a learning process. Her bond with her mother has grown stronger over the years!

What would a world without depression look like?

'' It will be extreme happiness or angry people walking around. Although, it will be creepy to see people smiling all the time."

There you go, peeps! I want to thank Lily and Tasha for letting me share their stories :)

Writing this series has been a lovely experience where I got to know myself on a deeper level.

I want to send a lot of kisses for the ones who have been reading my blogs. 

We will see each other soon!

Muah, Kenny


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