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S2 Loving Depression: Fragile human being

Hi peeps, I am back and ready to spill the tea! Just kidding :)

Opening up about my depression was quite difficult for me. But, when I wrote about it I finally found a way to manage it. Right now, I am fighting with new demons and so are others!

Perhaps you are one of those people who think that they are alone in this battle. Let me tell you, my friend, there you are wrong! There are many people who are going or went through depression.

The main reason that I wanted to continue with this series is to show you that there are others out there who are also struggling with depression. 

In the last chapter, I promised I'd tell the stories of others. In this chapter, I tell you the story of Lily Henriquez. Ready to read?

Where it all began

A beautiful part of life is when you give birth to another human being. Usually, the small human being grows up and starts to experience the beautiful things of life, without any responsibility or worries.

''Would you expect a child,someone fragile and innocent, to have depression?"

This story starts with an amazing woman who once lived on a beautiful island called Aruba. Lily, who is currently living in the Netherlands, was diagnosed with depression at the age of five. Her family decided to get her tested because, at night, she would sleepwalk grab a knife, which can be very dangerous. It was something very shocking and alarming for the family of Lily. Yet, what do you think happened when she was diagnosed? That is right, she did not get the help she needed at the time.

Growing up on an island where depression is a taboo was tough for her. Her mother prefered to let her demons devour her and let the depression take over. Unfortunately, Lily's mother did not know that her decision would impact Lily's journey to adulthood.

For a long time, Lily did not seek for help nor did she treat her depression. You cannot even imagine how it affected her life. Someone's teenage years should be the best year's of their life or so they say, do you agree?

Well, for Lily it was quite difficult. Between the ages of 13 and 17, she began drinking and self-harming by cutting. The only images that came to her mind were of strangers trying to harm her. During these dark times she was dealing with child abuse and losing her grandparents. 

''My coping mechanism is writing, singing, swimming, school and working."

The way Lily found to handle her pain was by doing the things she loves. Work was Lily's number one coping mechanism, it helped her shape who she is today. From every job she learned something new and she would incorporate what she learned into her work as a teacher, singer at open mics, and poet at book signings.

Breaking a taboo

In 2018, Lily decided to move back to the Netherlands when she realized that she missed teaching in the Netherlands. At the time, Lily was still drowning in her tears of depression, looking for ways to escape her reality; a world of wonder where she did not know what was good or bad; seeking for harmful ways to forget all her worries.

One time, she got harassed at work and it triggered so many things that happened to her when she was young. It came to a point where her thoughts became suicidal, she could not leave her building anymore because she felt like if she did, she would lose her breath.

Do you think someone should go through depression?

''Personally, I wish that no one goes through depression, it can be challenging and it becomes harder when you can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think once someone goes through it, you feel like you can conquer the world. Depression can lead to growth, but it can also destroy someone completely."

One day, Lily decides to seek professional help where she found out that she has PTSD and in order to battle depression, her PTSD should be treated. Seeking for professional help does not mean that you are a crazy person neither should it be a taboo. People should talk about how they feel and not feel ashamed about it. Everything changed for her when she began treating her PTSD; it was the start of something new.

Now, when she feels the spiral, she gets up and starts moving; she takes long walks with her son, writes poetry, listens to music and dances naked around the house. 

Lily with her son John Diggle © wanderzone

There you go! The chapter is finally out, hehe :) Thank you for waiting this long!!

If some of you could relate with Lily's story, know that you are not alone! All of us have our battles to fight, but that does not mean that you have to do it alone! May you spread your wings again and light up the sky :)


Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blogpost are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Phryme Magazine.


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