Loving Depression: A Fresh Strawberry
Writing this story has brought so much memories. In chapter 3, I opened up about my depression and how it continued until I did not take care of myself anymore. I wanted to make a change, but I did not know the root of the problem, until it hit me one night; I did not love myself! And then I finally decided that my main focus from now on will be myself. Like, Kendrick that should have been your main focus since a long time ago. Sadly, due to the circumstances I thought that I wasn't capable. Now I know that I am a rainbow that shines in the night.
Honestly, my new journey started when I wrote a poem of loving depression. I am not good at expressing myself verbally, but apparently I am good at expressing myself on paper. So, I decided to take my chance and see if I could join the Phryme team where I could practice my writing and maybe share my story. While trying to get myself out of the depression, I contacted someone I know who took pictures, I contacted Ittalee Brown who was beginning her photography page: hxrmvnyphotography. And so the photo shoot ''The many faces of Kenny'' was born. Without even knowing, she reminded me that beside all the problems, I was a happy young man with a lot of dreams. At home, my aunt was my pilar that kept reminding me that I need to keep going and never look back - I should only look back for the good things.
Consequently, my depression is still a fresh wound, but I can say that I am in a much better place right now. I am beginning to draw again and I am writing now. I have many ideas that I want to bring to life on paper. I decided to work on these ideas this upcoming summer, right now school is killing and stressing me, #crying emoji. I also would like to continue with a series of pictures - I created my first one last November called 'Unbottle my feelings'. The reason I liked this idea so much is, because it is a way for me to be more creative and also a way to express unsaid feelings.
Right now, I keep myself busy doing things I love or I spend my time with my loved ones. I am not going to lie, I have my sad moments, but at the end of the day it is okay, we are human after all. You just need to wake up the other day ready to conquer your dreams. And remember every step counts! My advice for anyone going through something is that it is okay to feel like shit. I am not going to say it is going to get better, because it is not true. It is something that you can live with and, with time, you get used to it. Surely, one thing you should never do is leave your problems unresolved. I have learned that if you keep living like nothing is going on, the pain will hit you harder until you can not take it anymore. So, feel it, express it, shake it off, smile and life goes on, baby.
Maybe it will sound a bit cliché but after writing these four chapters, I just keep falling in love with myself and my story more! I do not know what the future holds for me, just bring it! I am ready to fall again, so I can get up stronger than before.
Sadly, this is the end of my story and this series. or WAIT! I would love to continue with this series and tell stories about others who also went through depression. If you want me to share your story or know someone who wants to, send me a dm via Facebook or Instagram. So, I would leave you con calma ahora Byee ;)
Ps. You can also be kept anonymous if you wish.
With a lot a love,
Kenny
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Phryme Magazine.