Have you ever faked an orgasm just to get it 'over with' with your partner? If the answer is yes, then you are not alone! Several surveys have shown that approximately 80% of women had faked an orgasm at least once in their life. For anyone who is sexually active, it is no secret that women need an extra touch to get to the point where men get, in this particular case, a Big O. To learn more about this topic, I have interviewed three different women of different cultural backgrounds who are also in their 20s. The aim was to discover whether they had ever faked an orgasm and, if so, to get to know the reason behind it.
Girl #1: Early 20s – Caucasian Do women fake orgasms? "Oh yes, we do honey."
Tell me about your first fake orgasm? "Well we were not planning to do anything; it just happened. I didn’t want to ruin the moment and I think I expected a lot from my sexual partner; he just didn’t meet my expectations. I had to give him so many instructions that I grew tired and I just faked it."
What do you think the sexual partner should do to help the woman to stop faking her big O? "They have to do their job; learn what your partner likes, a lot of practice, read books because porn doesn’t help a lot and don’t be afraid to ask."
Girl #2: Early 20s – Mixed Do women fake orgasms? "Yes, I think a lot of women have faked it at least five times -- at least those that have had more than one sexual partner."
Have you personally ever faked an orgasm? "Girl, I only have had an orgasm once in my sexual life and it wasn’t until that long ago. I know it sounds sad, but that is the hardcore truth."
Describe that feeling that women get when getting to their big O? "It is a weird feeling to describe. But, it feels like your muscles are contracting, in a very pleasurable way, and then they just let it loose. In my case, my body started to shake. I know this is very nasty and too much information, but I squirted and, in my head, I was like, "What the F is this?!" because, like previously said, I have never had one before. I have also noticed that when you fake it, of course, you are in full control of your emotions and when it is real you can’t even talk."
What do you think the sexual partner should do to help the woman to stop faking her big O? "Take your time. Get to know your woman and what she likes and don’t be afraid to ask if necessary. But, I think women also need to play their role. Talk about what you like and be honest with your partner."
Girl #3: Late 20s – Asian/Mixed Have you ever faked an orgasm? "Yes, I have."
Why did you fake having your Big O? "Well, sometimes you will be doing the act and you realize that you are not getting there. And, with there I mean to an orgasm. Then, you find yourself getting frustrated in some type of way and you just end up faking it just to get it over with."
Do you fake your orgasms for yourself or do you do it to satisfy your sexual partner? "Actually no, it depends. Sometimes, you just know that it isn’t going to happen, so you just do it without really thinking about it."
How do you fake an organism? Are you one of those dramatic type of women or is it just simple and quick? "I am a professional. I don’t put too much effort into it; it just happens naturally."
What is your advice for women out there who have to fake orgasms or have trouble having one? "Find someone who can give you what you need and communicate with that person. But, I think it has a lot to do with finding, in your own time, what you like and what triggers you to get to that big O. If you have never gone through that experience before, you are really missing something huge in your life. And, if you do all of these things above and you see that it doesn’t help to improve your sexual relationship, then fake it until you made it."
As a woman myself, these interviews reflected a lot of my own thoughts; those thoughts that women often don’t talk about. They always say ‘it's not you, it's her’ and I agree to disagree with that. I think sometimes your sexual partner has a lot to do with your experience. I think people need to learn that we are all different, men and women. At the end of the day, we have different needs, but, more importantly, that we are triggered differently. What may have worked for your previous partners, may not work for me.
I think that sex has been prioritized to a point where it takes too much space in relationships. Indeed, sex is important to some people and I will not discredit that. But, how about the person, the emotions, that connection that we as human beings desperately want? If you take sex out of your relationship what do you have left? Are those things not as important anymore? Are you still going to be with your partner? On the other hand, I think getting to that amazing Big O is our job as women too. If a man, or a woman, can’t do it for you, then you must to do it yourself. And, after, you can teach your significant other. Sometimes, the way we view ourselves, specifically our body, can make it difficult for us to be relaxed and enjoy the moment.
So, here are ten tips to help you get to your Big O:
Try oral. Only 18% of women have an orgasm through intercourse. That's not a lot.
Buy an oral vibrator. Technology is really advance. Now, you can buy a vibrator that talks.
Touch other places. Be spontaneous and fun. Touch or let yourself be touched on other parts of your body by your partner.
Explore porn. For a long time it has been said that women don’t watch porn. That is a big fat lie.
Fantasize. Before or during the act. Men do it all the time, so why can’t we.
Eliminate any distractions. Turn that TV, phone, tablet and whatever that can take your mind off that moment.
Satisfy yourself. Stop thinking only about satisfying your partner, think about yourself too.
Dry humping. Yes, you have it right, dry humping can spark the atmosphere before starting.
Let your partner help you. Don’t hesitate to ask for help where and when it is needed.
Love yourself without clothes. This is the most important advice on this whole list. Love yourself without clothes – just the way you are, with all your stretch marks, your flanks, your hanging tetas and the whole shabaam. Because, if you don’t love yourself, who will?
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blogpost are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views of Phryme Magazine.